Relationships and Couplehood

We were written in the stars, my love, all that
separated us, was time, the time it took to read the
map which was placed within our hearts, to find our
way back to one another”

My husband wrote me alot of poems and love letters during our courtship days when he was doing his degree in Brisbane. He has a romantic soul and I think it was one of the reasons why I hung on during those 2 years he was overseas. He never fails to call me every night, and would scrimp and save in the material and food arena in order to supplement the $600 yish of phone bills monthly. My hubby isn’t rich, and neither does he takes his businessman dad for granted by asking him for more money.

Our long distance relationship had been an eventful one; I was still flying while he’s pretty much an insecure boy staying in a rented apartment at down under. At 24, I have a fair share of passengers who would asked me out, and the perks of being an air crew, you get countless job offers because people are too happy at showing you their name cards especially on sectors like China and long-haul flights. Male passengers are interested with the persona and what goes beyond, and beneath that airline uniform.  I have to add though, that they are mostly nice and genuine business personnel (CEOs, MDs) who craved for a little attention and forming new friendship with docile looking girls in mid-air.

To disappoint you abit, the little devil in me was tempted, and I did went out with one, or two men who managed to capture my soul and swept me off my feet. You know, they are the sort of financially independent businessman, or the son of some rich magnate, the kind whom I could envisage myself marrying them to become an instant taitai. A taitai who ferries her brood of four in a stylo-mylo Land Rover.

I am not materialistic; it just happened that the kinds of men who transcend through my life are mostly quite well-to-do. They are also more mature and wiser because of the age gap and most importantly, they talked intelligently which I find intriguing. Money doesn’t buy you everything but it sure can set you up for some happiness, don’t you agree?

I have known of girls who became the mistress of some rich businessmen/tycoons so they can afford to buy all the Chopards, bling blings, bags and Shooes… pretty much all-the-pretty-things that they like, literally.  Most girls like me end up marrying the commoner – Men who make us think twice before laying our hands on designer pieces that would probably cost them their entire month salary.

Then, there’s the other group, women who are stuck in vicious cycles of sustaining the lifestyle of their little gigolos, feeding their egos  and secretly hope that their beloved men will grow up to take care of them one day. Such sad thoughts indeed.

I feel that the purpose of life is to be happy and you don’t have to find happiness because it always finds you. The reality is we have all been brain-washed by the society to stay competitive and be in constant pursuit of the material stuffs in order to feed our bottomless-pit ego.

At the end of the day, there will always be someone who earns more than you. If you remove the outer layers of our physical form, we all look pretty much the same, like shit, if you can phantom that thought in your mind.

Anyhow… through a leap of faith, I married my primary school classmate after 2 years of LDR, 4 years of courtship and 2 proposals later.

First proposal in 2006, hubby was a poor student studying at down-under…still, he got me my first solitaire with his savings..which I apparently lost later ;p

Our wedding in June, 2008

We got married in the presence of 800 guests, with local and overseas folks who shared our joy and happiness.

Do Bear and I quarrel? Of course we do! We have our grim moments as all humans do, but I also learned that the trick to take things slow and easy. Anger is the greatest enemy during an argument. You often say things which you didn’t mean and regret deeply thereafter.

For me, I feel that our quarrels strengthen our relationship and bind us together. I like things hot and spicy ;p Communication irons out all elaborate webs of problems and makes life easier. The worst case scenario is when both parties refused to talk about a long-standing issue and allow deceitful mind games to gain the upper hand. Most of my friends would share that money is the number one culprit which causes divorce. And indeed, new statistics shows that men are most likely to divorce a woman who is not working, and has no income at all.

Most woman refuse to divorce their cheating husband because of the financial status in life. See article here. I adhere firmly for women to earn their own money, and whilst most financial gurus would advise us to have some savings which should last for 6 months in the event of unemployment, unwell pregnancies which requires a lot of rest, or unforeseen circumstances.

I suggest, try to have some savings that should last you up to 3 years, comfortably, even without working. For example, if your take home pay is $2000 every month, try to have $70,000 in your saving accounts keeping in mind that it’ll be depleted in no time if you have a certain lifestyle to maintain.

Having said these, I’ll like to share the three golden words I abide to, in making all relationships work:-

Acceptance

Tolerance

Respect.

How about you? What binds you and your spouse together?

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One response to “Relationships and Couplehood

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